Of orbits and satellites

Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?

I turned faceup on the slab of stone, gazed at the sky, and thought about all the man-made satellites spinning around the earth. The horizon was still etched in a faint glow, and stars began to blink on in the deep, wine-colored sky. I gazed among them for the light of a satellite, but it was still too bright out to spot one with the naked eye. The sprinkling of stars looked nailed to the spot, unmoving. I closed my eyes and listened carefully for the descendants of Sputnik, even now circling the earth, gravity their only tie to the planet. Lonely metal souls in the unimpeded darkness of space, they meet, pass each other, and part, never to meet again. No words passing between them. No promises to keep.

There are people who orbit the earth, keeping it at a distance. People like me. Not much by choice, but more of not knowing how to do things differently. There is a natural force that ties us to the earth, making us orbit around it. But at the same time, there is a natural force that keeps us away. Thus, we float. Oftentimes, unnoticed. 

Reading Murakami, I always feel a sense of anxiety and comfort at the same time. It’s like cutting up open an imaginary vein exposing everything. What seemed little proved to be vast. What was kept hidden needed to be acknowledged.  

But knowing that I may not be alone in this rut gives me relief, my silver lining. It comes with the hope that someday, there might be someone who can understand and peel off the layers of an invisible yet impermeable second skin. I choose to believe that this story ended in the same vein.

We’re both looking at the same moon, in the same world. We’re connected to reality by the same line. All I have to do is quietly draw it toward me.

Someone will pull me out of my orbit and will draw me closer to the earth. That someone exists. I have to believe in that.


Not that I didn’t like the Spice Girls

Playlist Title:  90’s Girl Power sans The Spice Girls


10,000 Maniacs – More Than This

Hole – Malibu

The Corrs – Runaway

Jill Sobule – Bitter

Moonpools and Caterpillars – Soon

Plumb – Stranded

The Sundays – Summertime

Lisa Loeb – Truthfully

Save Ferris – Let Me In

Letters To Cleo – I Want You To Want Me

Blast these songs for me. Outside my house. On your boombox.

Playlist Title:  Lloyd Dobler, wherever you are…


Lifehouse – Hanging By A Moment

Dashboard Confessional – Stolen

Spongecola – Gemini

Peter Gabriel – In Your Eyes

The Fray – Look After You

Gavin Degraw – More Than Anyone

Hale – Broken Sonnet

Dashboard Confessional – For You To Notice

Building to a climax

Playlist Title: A Moving Crescendo


Sleepwalk Circus – Freedom In One Second

Texas – Put Your Arms Around Me

Ida Maria – Leave Me Let Me Go

U2 – With Or Without You

Lifehouse – Everything

This Will Destroy You – Quiet

Embrace – Out Of Nothing

Coldplay – Fix You

Bloc Party – SXRT

The Killers – Goodnight, Travel Well

Hey Rosetta! – We Made A Pact

Sugar Hiccup – Five Years


I’m saying goodbye to a good friend.

Passed by greenbelt area yesterday and saw that Music One has closed shop. Not that I’m surprised that it did, but it still made me really sad nonetheless. Yes, I do still buy CD’s. I bought Jack Johnson’s To The Sea album there just about a month ago. And UDD’s Fragmented album which made me really ecstatic! I would have bought more if it would save the shop. But then again, who am I kidding?

So before this post gets too dramatic, I just want to bid a good friend adieu. For the longest time, you’ve been one of my favorite hiding place.

Recycled ideas

Playlist Title:  Not Quite The Same II


30 Seconds To Mars – Stronger

Bloc Party – Say It Right

The Enemy – Hung Up

Jamelia – Numb

Keane – Dirrtylicious

McFly – I Kissed A Girl

Paolo Nutini – Rehab

The Automatic – Gold Digger

The Automatic – Love In This Club

The Hoosiers – Lovestoned

The Pigeon Detectives – Girlfriend

The Kooks – Crazy

The Script – Lose Yourself

But darling when I see you, I see me

Playlist Title: Gemini


Outerhope – Lost In Numbers

The Magic Numbers – I See You, You See Me

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova – Falling Slowly

Damien Rice – 9 Crimes

The Civil Wars – Poison & Wine

You & Yourn – Double Knots

Aimee Mann and Michael Penn – Two Of Us

The Submarines – Xavia